Sometimes I wish I could go back to when I was younger, but with the wisdom of today.
As a young person, I preoccupied myself with whether I had the best outfit for graduation.
Whether I would be asked out by the boy I giggled and smiled with. It was a carefree time and the concerns of school, home, and my first after-school job occupied my time and mind.
It didn’t feel like there was much else going on in the world and so these issues formed the center of my universe. Oh how foolish it seems now after having the innocence of that time gone with some many experiences I have had. How silly it was to think that a perfect world exists.
How silly it is now that I was so occupied with looks, outfits, and having popular friends. I did enjoy those days, as it marked the becoming of who I am now.
Yes, the dating, the excitement of attending a friend’s birthday party, and planning the outfit to attend feel very trivial now. There was an innocence though, in that period where I didn’t understand at that point, the world would judge me by their definition of pretty, successful, fitting in, and so on.
I reflect on occasions and wish I had then the wisdom I have now.. yet I understand that the path of life was progressive steps with each lesson leading me on to greater wisdom and becoming who I am now.
I wouldn’t exchange who I am now for who I was then. It was a fun, carefree time and even as I embraced that time and enjoyed that time. I look back with thankfulness for the wisdom and discernment I have gained through experiences.
Though I don’t look at the world anymore through innocent eyes, I do admit my younger self presented a perfect world in my eyes that obliterated carefully laid clues of what I would face by some of the choices I made then.
I recognize that the experiences I had then, were all prepatory path for what I would face later in life. Yet as I look back now I didn’t see it then. Would I want to do it all over again at that age if I can? Not really no, I do appreciate who I was then. I am no longer angry or upset with myself for not seeing some of the things I believed I should have. It was what it had to be then.
The lessons learnt from that carefree age that I will take with me through the remainder of my life is simply these.
Firstly, consider the advice of an elderly person, they see things that at that age you cannot see. There is no elegant explanation for it, keeping it simple, age brings wisdom, if you let it, that no amount of academia can offer fully.
Secondly, constantly forgiving myself, for mistakes I make along the journey will allow me a much more peaceful life.
Thirdly, never stay angry at self, I would miss the important learning lessons from experience to help me do better the next time.
Fourth, live life now. There is no time to say well in ten years I will do this or that..or whatever I really have dreamed of doing. Now may be all that I have.
Fifth, love others and forgive as we are all on the journey of living and learning. When we forgive others, it heals, it mends, it promotes love and growth of self.
I don’t know what I will write in the next few years, about where and who I am now. I do know that as I look back then I will reflect on my growth then and where I am on the journey of life.
Until such time . . . thank you younger self, I walk along the path of who I am and continue to become, because of who I was then.