Control, a word we hear often.

But may not stop to think much about it’s meaning personally.

I grew up under difficult circumstances, so when I became an adult.

I felt if I could control circumstances, people, and general life.

I would get the results I want.

Needless to say, that didn’t go well.

I couldn’t even control situations, far less for anyone else.

Letting go of control has freed me to embrace life with a new perspective.

I no longer exist in perpetual anxiety and worry minute by minute.

Life has a different meaning.

I can enjoy a peacefulness that I hadn’t before.

I didn’t just sit back though.

And let life swing any which way.

I continue to set goals and pursue various paths.

However, when at times it doesn’t work out the way I hope.

I leave attempts to control out of the equation.

And in most cases, it eventually turns out better.

Even at times when it doesn’t work out better.

I learn valuable life lessons for the future.

Control is something we often imagine will make us happy.

And thus the very predictability of the next step is what increases attempts to control.

I have learned there is little in life you can totally control.

You can make decisions.

That will carry you along a particular pathway whether personally or professionally.

But all aspects of the progress cannot be predicated on past success.

Because it will never one hundred percent offer the same surety.

Knowing this has released me from the need to exercise control over others.

And focus on me.

And what I want to do.

There is, however, one thing all of us can control.

And that is personal growth.

We will all experience both negative and positive.

Our outlook on this will determine whether we grow, stagnate, or recede based on this.

I recently re-read the story of Viktor E.Frankl in his well-know book “Man’s Search For Meaning”.

As it chronicled his experience of the Nazi concentration camp.

I was again inspired by his ability to find positive in such atrocious conditions.

And successfully emerge from that no doubt scathed.

But maintaining that positive mindset to life and growing through it.

That is the epitome of personal growth.

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”Ernest Hemingway

a man sleeping on a bench on the street. Depicting how hard it is to control what happens in life.
A man sleeping on a bench on the street. Depicting how hard it is to control what happens in life. Photo by John Moeses Bauan on Unsplash
We cannot control the weather, the economy, our own families at times.

However, we can determine to set goals, pursue relentlessly.

And when the difficult moments come which they will.

Do not give up, but learn from it and grow.

Life is about highs and lows.

And if we allow the lows to keep us down.

We may never fully achieve the purpose we have the potential to.

Personal growth is a decision.

Two people can have the same experience.

One person is able to get up and go again.

Another wallows in self-pity and victim mindset and never emerges from this.

And remain believing that it is up to others only to help them, without putting in any effort.

I still experience moments of self-doubt, especially when the going is tough.

And I am tempted to quit on anything I am doing.

However, I would be most importantly failing myself.

Since growth involves successfully negotiating the difficult periods. And emerging a better version of self.

“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.”Norman Mailer

I am not the person I was at the start of this year.

I have grown.

I don’t want to be the person I am by the end of the year, once I am alive.

As I go forward, I want to make consistent steps in personal growth as an individual.

Sometimes it may be one step at a time, other times it may be more.

Once I am proceeding in the growth path, then I know I am one step closer to being better than I am now.

What about you?

How are you choosing to define the experiences you encounter?

Are you cowering in fear or anxiety?

Or are you allowing the experiences in life to expose a better version of you and use this growth to propel you to better?

When it is all said and done, no matter what life brings, there is always a choice, victim, or overcomer.

Choosing overcomer allows personal growth, a choice that prepares you for a better future.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” Steve Maraboli