In my opinion married life is one of the most difficult challenges a person could choose to face. So I accepted the challenge.
Starting to share my life alongside someone else felt like a very risky step. Cause the pitfalls are always around the corner and fights are often the order of the day, especially in the early years.
Therefore, looking for meeting points in the couple becomes a permanent activity for me.
I said earlier, marriage is a choice. My choice.
A commitment between two people who decide to spend their life together.
(So we can also stop stigmatizing it as the death of relationships or living on compromise).
Marriage is a wonderful adventure.
I understood I only need to take it the right way.
But, which is the right way?
What is marriage to you?
Some people believe that the key to its success is trust, others communication, still others passion.
They are all true, as they are all contained in a single word: love.
Lovey dovey? Maybe. But true.
I might also be an incurable romantic, but I can’t help it if I firmly believe in the power of love and the strength that comes with it.
Because nothing makes me feel stronger than loving and feeling loved.
- I said it immediately to my husband, on the second or third date I told him «I am convinced that love is really a physical force and that it governs everything» and I still think so today.
- I also think so when we spend the weekends insulting each other because the room is overflowing with clothes in need to be ironed. I think that when he makes the bed completely wrong.
- And I know he thinks that too when I get crazy because he puts my socks between our son’s ones and I can’t find them for weeks (I do not have such a small foot!).
These moments exist, but they are like a «test rides», as my parents call them, and inevitable.
On the other hand, they know it very well. After five children, and five subsequent aftershocks, they still need their «air hour» every other day.
In love in spite of everything
Because in spite of everything putting two people together for life is still difficult, and now, if I see couples around who claim the opposite or who «never fight», well, I know they should review their relationship for a moment. All that glitters ain’t gold, is it?
Be careful, I do not judge from the top of my throne. Rather, I do share from below of my inexperience.
So there might be some compromises, of course, but they slip here and there sometimes, in the middle of other more important elements.
- Understanding and complicity just to name a few (things I have to work on a lot by the way!).
- The sharing of interests, if they are in common, or the discovery of new things if the passions and hobbies are different.
- I learned to love photography and Oasis thanks to my husband, and he no longer complains when I talk about art or books! And then all these things give a perfect meaning to our whole existence.
What would be the point of trudging all day after commitments, deadlines, meetings and various nonsense if there is no one waiting for me at home at the end of the day?
It is not by chance that Tolstoy said «happiness is real only when shared», and the same is true for sadness, fear, anxiety, etc.
Things are way more easy when I faced them with my other half.
There are dark moments and there will always be, but knowing my husband will always be at the end of the tunnel, no matter what, helps me not to give up.
Water can become very deep sometimes and the shore seems increasingly distant. But my husband will always be the lifesaver that keeps me alive.